- December 24, 2022
- Posted by: Bastion team
- Category: World News
Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Lillian, Athena, and Elizabeth here. (It’s anonymous!)
Dear Pay Dirt,
My spouse (29M) and I (31F) have been together for about a decade. We both grew up well below the poverty line, and while we’re not rich now, we’re quite comfortable financially. Our finances aren’t fully merged; we split responsibility for bills, agree to save a certain amount, and otherwise have spending money of our own. But we have very different philosophies towards discretionary spending. He loves bargain hunting, waiting for the perfect sale, and finding every possible coupon, whereas I like supporting small businesses and often don’t shy away from paying near full price. Normally, this isn’t a big deal, but it becomes a problem with gifts. Last year I saved up for months to buy something expensive for his hobby—that he’d been wanting for years—and within hours of opening it, he asked if we could return it and exchange it for something else because it hadn’t been on a good enough sale. On the flip side, he’s an amazing gift-giver, but he also loves to brag about how little he spent on the presents, which makes me feel kind of bummed. I’m feeling a bit bitter about how I treasure his presents, but he rejects mine. I almost feel like putting a moratorium on gifts altogether. How can I reconcile (or at least come to terms with) these differences—ideally before Christmas morning?